Sorry For The Absence

I just wanted to leave a quick note to say sorry for my huge absence.

The last six months have been quite a struggle for me and my family. 

 We very unexpectedly lost a close member of the family at the end of last year, it was a huge shock and took the wind out from under us.

This year I have struggled with my mental health. I let go of everything in my life that brought me pleasure, including my crocheting. I've always viewed anxiety and depression as something that happens to other people. That it would never happen to me because I'm too rational and I take pleasure from all that life offers me. But the thing about anxiety is that it's altogether irrational, and the irrational thoughts spiral, strangling all of your good reason. Then they take over your ability to sleep, and a tired mind is so much more susceptible to the anxious thoughts. Then depression kicks in and it's really difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or to even see the tunnel. The future is not something your brain has time to think of because it's so busy whirring with the anxious thoughts about what's happening NOW. 

Thankfully, with the help of my doctor I was able to make the spinning stop. I was able to find peace. The biggest help for me was SLEEP. It's unbelievable how little we acknowledge the importance and value of sleep. Being able to sleep at night means that the rational side of my brain has a fighting chance of beating back the irrational thoughts. Sometimes things happen and I start to panic, but more often than not I can gain control of my senses. I think the hardest thing for me has been this lack of control over my thoughts, when for all of my adult life I have tried to control my life and my destiny. To lose that control is very scary.  

It's only been this last month that I've picked up my yarn and hook again and I'm finding it tremendously good therapy. I have two blankets on the go at the moment and look forward to sharing their progress with you in the future weeks.

This is going to be a large granny square baby blanket. I was worried about the stitches pulling to one side, so I have been attaching my yarn to different sides of the square and also turning the blanket after every round, working front, back etc.

I was just looking through some old photo's and realised that I never shared the two blankets that I finished last year.

This is my wavy jelly bean blanket that I managed to finish and mail in time for a beautiful baby boy to enjoy.

And this was my "Last Dance On The Beach" blanket that I finished and mailed back home for Christmas.

My future is bright and filled with glorious crochet.

Xx